One sunny summer's morning in Hawaii there was a guy called John, John woke up beside
his pig named Kama. They had big breakfast eggs on toast. They ate it way too fast and got
a stomach ache but they walked to the beach with their surfboard anyway.
Once they got to Hawaii beach they decided that they will go straight into the waves instead
of onto the waves. They were on the way,there are loads of calm waves. Guess what the pig
called Kama, kept falling off the board. The 4th or 5th time he fell off he got lost. John looked
everywhere for him.
Then all of a sudden John saw him from on his surfboard a shark got him
in his mouth! John swam down onto the shark he tried to get Kama but John’s Stomach
keeps on floating up back on to the surface. He thought that he had no luck so he just had to go
back home without his Talented surfing Pig.
of onto the waves. They were on the way,there are loads of calm waves. Guess what the pig
called Kama, kept falling off the board. The 4th or 5th time he fell off he got lost. John looked
everywhere for him.
Then all of a sudden John saw him from on his surfboard a shark got him
in his mouth! John swam down onto the shark he tried to get Kama but John’s Stomach
keeps on floating up back on to the surface. He thought that he had no luck so he just had to go
back home without his Talented surfing Pig.
Then the day after that Kama came back to him.(Oh did I tell you that John can read what pigs
and all sorts of animals are thinking.) So he asked his pig what where have you been.
and all sorts of animals are thinking.) So he asked his pig what where have you been.
His pig replied I have just been eaten by a shark, Of course not literally eaten by a shark but
you know what he would mean.
you know what he would mean.
Kama said this beautiful mermaid called Jemma helped him out of his mouth that is how I'm
here right now Papa.
"Well that's very nice of her isn't it?"
here right now Papa.
"Well that's very nice of her isn't it?"
Kia Ora Ava,
ReplyDeleteVery cool story, I like how you added in a few twists, like how John could hear animals thoughts. Just a tip... don't forget speech marks. Great work
Hi Ava! That's a very imaginative story, and clever twist in there too. Some great descriptive words letting the reader be able to picture what's happening even better! But yes, just be careful with some of the punctuation, but otherwise a really fun story - thanks for sharing on here :)
ReplyDeleteMalcolm